The terror has ended...

I have finally escaped from my kidnappers! With the help of an extremely fuzzy-headed human as well as a rather lengthy one, I was able to make it safely back to my home. Unfortunately the rather unfortunate events preceding my escape led me to have a very serious case of *coughs* sickness.... Anyways, I was practically floating these past few days until finally....erm...I was better. Thanks to everyone who prevented my untimely demise at the hands of those kidnappers.

KIDNAPPED AGAIN. HELP!

*whispers* So, I was just swimming around my apartment, right? When suddenly my entire home was PICKED UP AND MOVED. I was pretty freaked out, but it just got worse. The kidnappers took me in a car, and drove me over a Blue Bridge. That was the only thing I could see, and the car ride felt like it lasted an eternity. Then I was taken into another building, and all these tiny small humans kept looking at me! I think I'm in trouble here. What if they're just fattening me up?? What if I'm DINNER?? Please someone help! Call the police, tell them that they're looking for a villainous looking man with brown hair and a penchant for swords. He also quotes some book a lot, takes a lot of phone calls (probably the mob), and grins really evilly. Hurry! I don't know how much time I have left!!

-Jeff Rahndom

Disaster!

So, a lot of stuff has been going on in my life, and it's been a rough few weeks. To start off with, both of the guys who were sharing my apartment died. Now, I can't say I was that attached to them, they tended to eat my food and all that jazz, but I was a little disappointed not to have anyone to glare at in the morning. Or to harass. Oh well, at least I have my apartment all to myself again, that's nice.
The next thing that happened to me was that I was STARVED. This mattered to me infinitely more than the death of my fishy compatriots. I usually get my food delivered, because it is really hard to get out and about these days in a world so completely against Fish Civil Rights. Well, the two people who usually deliver the food decided NOT TO. So for DAYS AND DAYS I grew weaker and weaker, praying that one of my roommates would die and I could be legally exempt from prosecution when I feasted upon him. Instead, the two Feeders returned and continued feeding me as if nothing had happened!! What is up with that??? I would fire them, but its really hard to find help these days.
Yet another disaster in my life was my SECOND kidnapping! Most people aren't unlucky enough to be kidnapped once, I was kidnapped TWICE! This time I was also MANHANDLED and stuck into a tight little container. Then, when some do-gooder paid my ransom, I was put back in my apartment and found that the hooligans had PAINTED MY CARPET A DIFFERENT COLOR! It was now bright pink and purple, instead of the calming grays and browns I had.
Yep, my life has been a bit hazardous these days. *sighs* At least it can't get any worse right? :)

New Roommates

Well, with the economy in a downward spiral, my rent has just gotten higher and higher, until finally I was forced to do the unthinkable....get roommates. Their names are Chevis (he's Scandinavian) and Jojoba (he is from Cham-pu Botel). They are pretty dull, all they seem to do all day is open and close their mouths, with nothing even remotely interesting coming out.

And here is where I must make a confession...I have terrible anger-management issues. Really. I once nearly tore apart another one of my kind, for no apparent reason at all. I just lost control the moment I sighted him! It was terrible, and for that reason I was ostracized and had to move far away. So, now, for safety reasons, I have built a wall between our two sides of the apartment so as not to be tempted. We'll see how it works out...

KIDNAPPED!

I was KIDNAPPED TODAY! It was terrible! And the police simply will not answer my pleas for help! I haven't even been able to CONTACT them! Anyways, back to my harrowing story....

I was just laying back, minding my own business, when I was violently swept into some kind of bucket and set precariously close to a dire precipice. I was kept there for a pretty long while, I am assuming that my kidnappers were debating on how much to try and get for me (I am worth quite a lot, you know). In the end, though, I was let go, for reasons unknown. I think it was probably because they had learned I had connections with powers greater than themselves, and feared for their lives if I ever escaped.

Summer: Come and Gone

A few days ago I realized that Summer had finally come! I was shivering in my apartment when suddenly, after much sloshing and earthquake-like movements, the sun burst out and warmed my apartment right up. It was amazing. I basked in it for quite a while, getting a tan (I hope).

Unfortunately, this state of affairs did not last long. In fact, it seemed to be only a few days! I have never experienced such a short summer! It must be *gasps* Global Warming.

Relationships

Well, Jennifer left me. I can't say I miss her that much, she wasn't much of a conversationalist, and had really weird views on Fish-Plant relationships. I was a little rattled that she just up and left without so much as a goodbye, but oh well. Anyways, more important news....

There is a new woman in my life. Her name is Janessa, and she just showed up in my apartment yesterday! It was a dream come true (for both of us, I'm sure). Here is a picture of her and I together, lounging around the apartment:

She is taller than me, but I am confident in my manliness and don't care about height differences. I am a little unsure of how this relationship will work as time goes on though, her being a Bird, and I a Fish. Birds are known to be given to Carnal Desires, otherwise known as Eating Fish. She assures me that this is not true for her, that she loves me wholly, but I think I will keep an eye out.