The terror has ended...

I have finally escaped from my kidnappers! With the help of an extremely fuzzy-headed human as well as a rather lengthy one, I was able to make it safely back to my home. Unfortunately the rather unfortunate events preceding my escape led me to have a very serious case of *coughs* sickness.... Anyways, I was practically floating these past few days until finally....erm...I was better. Thanks to everyone who prevented my untimely demise at the hands of those kidnappers.

KIDNAPPED AGAIN. HELP!

*whispers* So, I was just swimming around my apartment, right? When suddenly my entire home was PICKED UP AND MOVED. I was pretty freaked out, but it just got worse. The kidnappers took me in a car, and drove me over a Blue Bridge. That was the only thing I could see, and the car ride felt like it lasted an eternity. Then I was taken into another building, and all these tiny small humans kept looking at me! I think I'm in trouble here. What if they're just fattening me up?? What if I'm DINNER?? Please someone help! Call the police, tell them that they're looking for a villainous looking man with brown hair and a penchant for swords. He also quotes some book a lot, takes a lot of phone calls (probably the mob), and grins really evilly. Hurry! I don't know how much time I have left!!

-Jeff Rahndom

Disaster!

So, a lot of stuff has been going on in my life, and it's been a rough few weeks. To start off with, both of the guys who were sharing my apartment died. Now, I can't say I was that attached to them, they tended to eat my food and all that jazz, but I was a little disappointed not to have anyone to glare at in the morning. Or to harass. Oh well, at least I have my apartment all to myself again, that's nice.
The next thing that happened to me was that I was STARVED. This mattered to me infinitely more than the death of my fishy compatriots. I usually get my food delivered, because it is really hard to get out and about these days in a world so completely against Fish Civil Rights. Well, the two people who usually deliver the food decided NOT TO. So for DAYS AND DAYS I grew weaker and weaker, praying that one of my roommates would die and I could be legally exempt from prosecution when I feasted upon him. Instead, the two Feeders returned and continued feeding me as if nothing had happened!! What is up with that??? I would fire them, but its really hard to find help these days.
Yet another disaster in my life was my SECOND kidnapping! Most people aren't unlucky enough to be kidnapped once, I was kidnapped TWICE! This time I was also MANHANDLED and stuck into a tight little container. Then, when some do-gooder paid my ransom, I was put back in my apartment and found that the hooligans had PAINTED MY CARPET A DIFFERENT COLOR! It was now bright pink and purple, instead of the calming grays and browns I had.
Yep, my life has been a bit hazardous these days. *sighs* At least it can't get any worse right? :)